YUCK! I have had my LAST peanut butter sandwich! I have maxed-out, no – correction! – I have OVER-maxed-out on peanut butter sandwiches. You may remember in a previous post I extolled the soothing powers of the All-American comfort food, the Peanut Butter Sandwich. Well, today I renounce the peanut-butter sandwich-comfort myth. Any comfort it gives is brief and shallow. Peanut butter on wheat bread does not go the distance. It’s only mid-February and we’ve broken the Wisconsin record for annual snow fall! It still snows, and March, our snowiest month, is yet to come.
But will I cower inside nibbling some decadent, fattening food that my hips will display at the beach in July? No! I defy high-calorie tranquillization. Action, – action and change are what I want.
Tomorrow Wisconsites will vote in the presidential primaries. Like me, the democrats call for CHANGE! – But what change, we Wisconsinites wonder? I say – How about changing the weather?! To clarify a possible misunderstanding, I’ll explain that when Wisconsinites bemoan climate change, we’re referring to climate change in the tropics and the arctic. Naturally, we feel sorry for the polar bears! But admit it fellow Wisconsinites – don’t deny our secret whisperings. It’s true confession time, – more Wisconsinites than is politically posh to admit, embrace climate change. There, I said our dark secret. Shorter, milder winters? We say, why wait decades? Barak and Hillary, – if you want to bring meaningful change to Wisconsin – bring SUMMER!
But we Wisconsities are known for our independent spirit, our grass-roots activism. We don’t bide our time waiting for government crumbs. We act locally, and change globally. Therefore, as a Wisconsinite, if summer won’t come to me, I’m going to summer. I’m going to the local fruit market where I will purchase papaya and limes, oranges, berries, bananas, cherries, melons, plums, and anything else that grows in zone 9.